I Can Hear The Silence....Loud and Clear

by: Oying Cayabyab  /Dec. 23, 2010

theLorelei

So there is silence and that silence is deafening and very fatal. The soundless waves are exploding in my ears and into my mind, making me crazy and confused and ultimately restless like a rabid dog. This is torture and inhumane. For one who loves to seek the truth, this is like a dagger dug deep into one's soul. As one has tried to reach out but abruptly cut like an unwanted  pest,  it could be definitely hurting and painful and all the adjectives that most describe such. What else must one do? For a female to be treated as such, it is just like being dragged and torn in the streets in front of many people. How humiliating, how low, one's self-esteem buried deep down under. Such treatment I know not, I was born not and I should not. So the female in me shouts in anger, for I know not what I have done to deserve such. And the anger in me is stifled for I was raised to contain any explosive emotions within. And it is not easy. It may seem so foolish but it is not. The female in me is the female in me still, and no man could ever change that, for I was not raised in a world of insults, degrading circumstances and other persona. I was raised as myself, to be me in all entirety. No man has the right to play with my emotions as I have been true to my word, my feelings and actions. I was being myself, in all nakedness of truth and childlike purity of intentions. A collective flow of natural instincts for one that has learned again to love.

How could one understand the other side if silence is the answer and seems to have no indication of an end. Would it be fair and right to wait in eternity? Would it also be wrong to just turn one's back and move on? There is no just answer really for the answer lays in the breakage of that silence. And it is so unfair to be leaving someone out in the cold and in the dark.

The past days were torture….you know that feeling when you want to pounce on somebody who is giving you the silent treatment and bluntly ask….”What the hell is your  problem?”. It would have been easier if two parties sit down and talk matters like two well-meaning adults. But if the other party is adamantly tight-lipped and the other party is just as curious to know what went wrong, one could immediately sense that the ball has stopped on its track and refuses to roll.

Situations as such can be fatal to a relationship, especially if it’s a young one wherein it is just starting to build a foundation.. Whether the two parties are willing to give a relationship a try for a long-term survival or just nip the bud, it is just but fair and proper to sit down and talk about their shortcomings, so both will understand where each one is coming from and learn from it.

Communication is of utmost importance. It is the key to all the lasting and successful relationships and marriages that we see today. Yet, it is the most neglected part and taken for granted by most. To be able to understand someone, one must communicate. We can not just observe a person and deduce whatever signals we feel, we might be wrong, or we might be right, but it is still important to confirm those signals by talking about it. One can not just conclude that what one sees and feels is right, it has to be explicitly said to one's face what the real picture is. Not that one is lacking in sensitivity and intelligence, but just a confirmation for a final conclusion., so that thoughts will not wander on so many speculations.

Too much of communication can be strangling too. We have to leave a person in his or her own space and thoughts. Allow each one to settle peacefully in his or  her own person. There is always a time for communication and a little silence in between. Too much of both could be poisonous and should be seriously avoided. It should flow smoothly in unison. One has to be sensitive enough to be able to know the difference and the right timing.

I shall embrace this silence deeply in my heart and learn from it. Learn that I should not let anyone hurt this heart ever again. I shall allow the silence to permeate my senses and dwell in my whole being..... to become my shield and a reminder of another dream gone by.     --> theLorelei